Beckham's Back!

So as this final week of school begins, as the assignements get compelted, the classes wrap up and I say my final farwell to many of my friends, I start to clue in that summer is a coming!.

The running has increased dramactically in preparation for a full marathon this summer which I can't even begin to explain how excited I am. I've started planning so much more for my journey, which again the emotions and feelings are inexplainable. To add to this incredible summer, today I set up the glorious Beckham. A little cold, but sooo worth it. I got a few jumps in today, a few flips, and a few pictures. All I have to say is yipppeee. He's back.




Monday: A wicked 10.68km, mapped and timed, I figure I shall do one 10km a week and time it. To try and get my time down each week to ensure I place where I would like in the 10km in May..Yeahoooo Mississauga!

Tuesday: No run, but Beckham!!!! and a good old Bike ride:)

Wednesday: Just a small 8.52km run. It was sooo windy, and I thought it was cold yet half way through the run, the sun came out making it incredible warm to run. Had to cut the run short because I needed to work on a presentation. Gah why can't school just be finished with!

Thursday: Finally finished 3rd year, well minus exams but still I'll take the almost finished over still have lecture and assignments due. Today did not run, instead headed to some wicked outdoor store (to shop around) and to a running store (found new wicked shoes). Also played a wicked game of soccer, felt I played really well, until I did an awful fall. A face plant dive, scrapped up my knee, shin, elbows nicely. Also hurt my ankle by some other player kicking it instead of the ball, sooo painful. Yet this is all in good run right?

Impossible is Nothing!

The saving has started, the planning has started, the mapping has started, and the dream is becoming more of a reality, and I couldn't be more excited. Sure it is insane, but I think it's worth it. Its my own dream and I think it will fill that void I feel is missing.

http://www.mikebeauchamp.com/crosscanada/watch.php

You have inspired me, and I can only hope through this journey I inspire others.

A "sick-freak masochist" as red puts it! HAHA

Guess who's back,
Back again,
Steph is back,
Tell a friend

Monday came and Monday left, but it didn't leave without allowing me to participate in a wicked run. I decided I would challenge myself and participate in whatever amount of km my friend had suggested. So when the time came to head out running I asked a friend how far I should run. 15km she said. I thought okay you know we shall see what we can do. I laced up my shoes, got into my running gear and headed out onto the streets. When I got back, strechted and showered I mapped the run. 14.63km, close enough. It felt soo good to do a long run, plus I hadn't done one in a while.

Tuesday came, decided to take the day off like usual. Engaged in the lovely fat tuesday of consuming popcorn:), and watching my usual shows of biggest loser and Ruby. Yet also headed to Liberty Cycle Bike store downtown. Found the dream bike that is going to be PERFECT when it comes time for the journey. I still have a year but hey one can dream can't she?

Wednesday, HUMP DAY. Went to another 5 hours of class followed by an amazing run of 17.04km. Ahhhh it was golden. I figure slowly I'm waking my way up to my following my full marathon training schedual outlined in my book. Now once again 3 hours of class. Gross, but hey I get a presentation over and done with. Thats good news!



Thursday, a rest day. Well half a rest day, I have a game of soccer tonight so I will probably be running like a mad women, but in terms of strickly running, its a day off.

Friday ran 13km, enjoying the amazing sunshine:) and taking it easy, well easier then the previous days. As for the weekend. We shall see whats in store for us. I know I have to do a paper, and a presentation. So we shall see what happens. I'll keep you posted!

Saturday did not run, but went for a bike ride to my friend's place, so it was a bit of exercise. And Sunday spent all day doing homework, so again no running.

Step by Step

Even though today is Saturday, and a beautiful day for that fact. We're going to head back to last weeks Sunday and start our weekly update on runing from there. It's been a different week, i've managed to get by though, which is an added bonus. I managed to hand in the assignments needed and write a test, and also make a bit of money along the way.

Sunday the 15th!!! I was able to get out and enjoy a nice 7.5km. Nothing too fancy just something to get me by and back out there, enjoy the nice weather. Monday came and I increased the 7.5 to a 9. It was a good run, again enjoyed the weather for the most part. Tuesday the usual fat tuesday no running. Wednesday went out for a quick 9.75 run in between my classes. Thursday no run, but played soccer. We played against a difficult team who we normally get slaughterd by. And I mean SLAUGHTERED. But for some reason the entire team played a fantastic game, and we only managed to lose 7-4. Thats right our team actually scored as well. Props to all who came out to the 9:50 game, as we know how tiring it is to play so late. Friday came and no run was done. I went on a small bike ride, which was fun, but then again it was to go get pizza haha. So they kinda balance each other out. Oh well at least I got outside and wasn't a hermit on my day off. SATURDAY thats is where we stand now. Today I went for an amazing 12.04km run. Up hill and down, through some trees, okay no trees but the hills are true. Damn those hills are a killer. But all in all a good run, and a nice start to having to sit in the library all day today, allowing my brain turn to mush. Thanks university for giving me a future of mushyness.

Well, I thought I'd write another post, one on a more upbeat side of life to let everyone know I am still alive, and living the life of Steph. I just had to find my footing. But for now I'm off to shower and go write a paper, a take home exam, and do a presentation. Yeahoo weeekend :( NOT.

One last side note. I'm finished 3rd year in less than a month. It's sooooo weird, but yet sooo exciting.

On the recieveing end

On the recieveing end, yet I think I am okay with it. It's late tonight but I think this picture somes it up, I know im sure I will have a rough day down the line, who am I kididng a few rough days hehe. But as it stands now, I'm okay.

I think as much as it hurts to loose someone I felt I was head over heels with, I know that saying if you love someone let them go. And I had to do that, things once again weren't working, I was slowy riding on an emotional rollercoaster following his up's and down's and it was taking a toll on me mentally and my emotion level wasn't doing well. I still love him, and I know i'll never forget him, I feel i'm writing this as its a goodbye forever, yet I don't think it will. I don't think we will completely erase each other out of our lives, and I think we have the chance to one day be wicked friends again.

I know this strecth is going to be hard but I need to focus on all the positive things that came out of it, and the positive things still to come in my life. I had the most amazing friendship with him for 3 years, and a relationship for a year and half. In those times I got to meet one of the most incredible people ever. Full of life, and laughter, stories, and tones of experiences, with the thrill and want to do anything. The only downside he wasn't able to realize this, and see the good he had in him. I think I realized now that maybe I thought I would be able to change that. I thoguht I was a positive person, full of life and adventure, that hey i'll help. And I think Thats where I was wrong. You can't change people, people have to want to change themself and within their own will power. My mom put it, in good terms she said, "Steph, i'm sure he does care about you...but he doesn't care enough about himself. How do you expect someone to love you if they don't love themselves." Life's long....really long, and I know that the right thing has happened. Sure as I have my days of being upset, I wont think this, but I do. I think that he needs this, and that one day he will be content with everything and meet someone who doesn't need to change him, and can just be happy. He can finally be happy.

Yeah, it sucks now that it wont be me, but I have a huge life ahead of me, that its very positive I will meet someone else. A scary thought, but yes, its possible hehe. And then I will as well be happy, and i'll have him to thank. I'll know that he changed me. He made me become a better person in a relationship, become more open about my life and dreams, the things I want in a relationship. I talked more, tried new things, man theres a million things I could thank him for. But mostly, I want to thank him for that feeling, that feeling of being loved, and having that first love effect. This is only a stepping stone for a future, I can not wait to endure.

Just remember life is long, there will be ups and downs, your first love and your last. Whatever it is and whenever it comes, just laugh it out!. Live each day to its fullest, and have fun. I lived, I learned, I laughed, and I loved. And I will take that with and continue to live, learn, laugh and love!

the world spins madly on

You know those days where you just can't get started on work. You know you have lots to do, but something is stopping you and you do not know what. The worst possible thing to have happen when you have an essay to write, yet it did. And boy did it suck. I realized what had been missing was my lack of doing things I used to love to do, keeping busy with being outdoors, and being active. Do things I used to do when I was younger, even silly things, perhaps this one of those things that differ me from other individuals at the age of 20.


I slept in today, enjoyed the comfyness of my bed, until I finally decided to wake up and start to accomplish my work. I figured I'd get a bunch written then enjoy the weather outside by heading for a bike ride or a run or just something ANYTHING! The days of bordum or work are filling up my shecdual, and it sucks. No one likes to do the things we used to, like board games, or bike rides, those summer evenings of manhunt in the park, or just doing random things. It's now all about heading to the bar, celabrating someone's birthday I don't even know or who I'm not friends with. Its all about MONEY! and its an awful thing to involve yourself with. I try to stay away, to be honest, I enjoy life much better when I do.

Today, after my essay was finally completed (hours later) I decided to head out on my own little expedition, a journey to the unknown world of deCew falls. I had heard of it, but never experienced it before. I packed my bag, with multiple layers, as well as dressed appropriately to accomdate for the weather, unsure as to how long it would take to arrive there. Once packed I headed out. It was such a wicked ride, the sun was just setting so the sunset was amazing. Picture perfect at times, I tired to capture some great ones yet as we are aware i'm not a creative photo genius or anything. I rode into the unknown, getting cold as the road became darker, and as the population of houses slowly decreased. I was shocked I wasnt scared, maybe it was part of the thrill. When I finally arrived, I hopped off my bike, and went and got a few pictures, only to find out they didn't turn out. I didn't explore further even though there was much still to see I became way to chicken. As I left the same excited joyness occured. Wicked songs played on my ipod and not only did I begin to feel more alive, but I started to think about the things that made me happy Defintly the bike ride I currently was experiencing, but also the ninja boy.

After my ride, I headed down to Ninja's house for a campfire. We just sat and built, poked at the fire, and shared a few conversations, but mostly enjoyed each others company. It's those times where we say nothing at all, that I really enjoy myself. I feel comfertable with the silence that is there, and its a nice way to end a long day, it helps me to think about life. It was really good, we were out there for a bit, then I biked it back up home, still with the smell of campfire embedded into my clothing. Lately its been amazing with him, and I really wish I told him more how I felt, sometimes I just don't know how to find the words, and I can only hope he knows......He's the one who really lets me be me, lets me play board games, and watch movie after movie. He lets me come over in pj's, and allows me into his car smelling sweaty after soccer. He accepts my weird, clumsy, peter pan syndrome self and I don't even know how to thank him. Sometimes I wish I did, I don't think he hears how great he is often enough.

This ones for you NINJA!. Thank you for everything <3.>

March Madness and a summer side note!

As March continues to destory me in multiple ways, I have found hope in running once again. Monday arrived a paper was handed in and a 10.71km run was produced. So enjoyable, I felt I could of kept going, but I decided to head back to the house to once again work on homework. Tuesday came and I handed in yet another essay, as well as met with my presentation partner once again to finalize our presentation. No run to claim for tuesday, but due to the nastiest of weather I figured, pfft no need to head out today its FAT TUESDAY!. Instead spent the night enjoying and doing things for myself. I painted my toe nails hehe, read some magazines, and watched some t.v. Wednesday was yet another busy wednesday. I attended class like usual, did another presentation....that I might add I think went fan-tab-u-lous! I took advantage of the warm weather, okay well warmer weather and went for a run. I decided to swtich up my roots and do more of a hill training approach. Yikes, deifntly a work out and a half. Even thought it was only 9.58 km. The wind made the hill climb so much harder. It felt good to get back out there and run. My body was much needing it. Thursday will be a new day, and we shall see how the rest of the week goes. Currently as this month of march eats my brain, I still hoepfully will find time to write here, and run.

On a side note, I've started to question randomness. Okay so that is not very specific. But I've started to think about my summer in terms of jobs, living location etc. I began with the thought that I wanted to work out west, head out to good old BC, or Alberta, and spend my days working up in the moutains meeting new people, and just truely adoring the outdoors. Perhaps visiting my brother on weekends in edmonton. This was an opition and still is, yet I fear what I'll miss. I know it's stupid to hold back on having the summer of a lifetime because of the things I will miss form back home, but still. I can't imagine a summer without camp. Althought this is still an option, another one has come up as well. I have decided to consider tree planting. An extreme change from what im sure the normal student does in the summer but I thought this idea sounded terrific. I would spend my days out in the sun, working my ass off, and meeting new people. Getting a lovely tan, or sunburn whichever my body prefers to have. This job would then end at the beginning of July so I would be able to then work at camp. Get a dose of both worlds. Beign back at camp, meant that I would be able to attend all functions that I attned during the summer, ie. good old mel's cottage. I could not for the life of me imagine missing that, the past forever i have been going, it would be really upsetting to skip out on it. As well as camp, meeting new people, and children, oooh how I love camp. I already have games planned out. ITs sad I know. I also would then be here to head to Mel's sisters wedding, which I'm dieing to go to. If the tree planting fails I still have the backup of just camp. And I am sure I can find another job located somewhere in the good old ptown. This will allow me to train for the runs I have planned, the full marathon and maybe do another half. This allows me to head to my cottage, and spend some more quality time with my family and friends. We can only wait and see. Lets just hope for the second option!!!!!

Closing

As the ending of the week draws near, I still find myself scrambling for those last few minutes, gathering any extra time I can in order to get ahead, or better yet stay on track. March has been hectic, in terms of school yes, but also in terms of life. A hectic amount of time has been spent worrying. Worrying if I will get into honours next year, worrying where my summer is going to lead me, worrying about housing situations, and worrying about the overall health and wellbeing of my family. I'm sure in life it may be benefical to have this so called worrry wart days, but I find myself having worry wart months. I used to have running, use to have it as a time to be able to get away and clear my head, just me and the road. But now......I don't know where it has lead me. I've barely gone, and slowly I feel my mind filling back up with these silly worry thoughts. I went running once this week. Huge Downer!!!! Althought when thursday came I was able to play a wicked game of soccer, or at least I felt it went well. But it defintly was not the same, as the usual feeling achieved when a great run has been delievered. I need these essays to be handed in, my presentation to be over and I need to get back out there. It's now saturday and what can I say I've achieved.....not much.

Worst Day Became A Reality

You always dream of those days, the worst ones. But usually that is all they remain, just a dream. Today was not just a dream. Today was actually a reality. I went to bed last night hopeing to wake up and hour early to get in a few more study mintues for my test today. Instead my alarm did not go off, for some unknown reason. But Miracously I woke up at 7:48, one hour too late of course. My class was going to be starting at 8am, and there was no possible way I would be able to take the bus, since i had missed both the 122 and the 4.

I thought I would try calling a cab, yet didn't have any cash on me, and wasnt sure if I would be able to run into brock get money from the bank machine, then head back out to give the cabby the cash, then run back into to finally sit down and write my exam. As I contemplated this for the 50 seconds I got dressed I came to a better conclusion. I would ride my bike.

Yep thats right, allowing myself 10 minutes to get to brock on a mountain bike in the middle of winter. Not having been outside I dressed myself accordng to how I thought it would be, I wore lovely skate shoes (yepp not boots), stupid skinny jeans (should of worn sweats, or layers of pants), one long sleeve shirt and my winter coat, with crappy gloves that have holes. I never biked faster in my life, it was sooo cold, my legs were numb, the hairs on my arms were sticking up, and I couldn't feel my toes, hands, face, ears, etc.

Once I arrived at Brock I ran to my classroom to get there at 8:10. Not bad considering the weather conditions outside. I appoligised to the teacher for being late and sat down to write the test. I couldn't even focus, I was shaking unbelieveably, and my entire body was still numb. Im sure I smelt lovely considering I missed time to put on deoderant, or brush my teeth. Im sure I looked like compelte zombie. Thank god chys is mostly girls majoring haha. Too be honest, I even forgot to wear underwear haha, so uncomfertable in skinny jeans haha. And sooo sooo very cold. Too me longer then expected to write the test, still hoping I did okay. (one can only hope). I took as long as I could because i knew I would then soo have to hop on my bike and ride back home.

And so I did, I don't think my body ever fully warmed up when arriving at the school, because going outside felt colder then before. I rode back home, trying to ride even faster. I think the wind had picked up in the hour and half it took me to write the test. You know the feeling when you stick your head out the car window and there is sooo much wind coming into your face that you gasp for air. (okay yeah it happens walking on windy days too, but a car sounds sooo much cooler). But it defintly was like that riding home, I found myself gasping for air, and trying to get warmer by pumping faster only to realize I'm riding on a flat tire. Great i thoguht to myself. It defintly can get worse. I almost fell off my bike twice because of having to turn my head to avoid large gusts of wind. I couldn't even breath, as tears strolled down my face, I didn't think I had anything left to keep peddling except the thought of warm bed!!!. I finally arrived home, fingers and toes numb, felling like I fell into a bucket of ice cold water. I thought ooooh wouldn;t it be perfect to get home and hop in a nice warm bed!!!! Of course it would in a dream, but no in reality, my bed was frozen, the floor of my room and house felt like ice. Our heat has been broken since last night and is still not fixed, so I sit and freeze in my ever sooo cold room with a temperature at 10 degree's.

I've been home for a little while now curled up in bed and still theres no feeling in my toe's, my fingers feel like they will fall off, and I have no desire for anything but warmth right now. Considering it is only 10:50, im nervous for what the rest of the day holds. A little advice for students who have tests, SET TWO ALARMS, or DOUBLE CHECK THE TIME A MILLION TIMES. It is way tooo cooolllddddd for thissss...