Does this mean the right of passage has been passed?

So i've heard a variety of stories about situations like this. I have heard about the power of the bowels and how often we ever so joke about "shatting ourselves". With many runs saying "ooooh i think i'm going to poop", poop this and poop that. Well the worst runners fear came true. Being a fear makes it a right of passage right?

Many mornings and nights i've headed out. The feeling of having to poop but always making it that last little stretch. The final steps of running to the bathroom, ripping down your pants and just letting loose. Sure the topic is awful, but eh EVERYBODY POOPS. None the less my many conversations are regulated around the topic of pooping, its just another word in my everyday vocabulary never thinking that I would actually experience the word. I'm sure your dying to hear the details so I will get right too it!

It started off like any other Wednesday night run club. Meet at 6:30pm, about to start the fun run and I could feel a small upset stomach. We headed out on a snowy 5km run. I'm there running from street to street, cheering people on, blowing the whistle dancing and then I get this wave over me. This wave of ooooooooh i don't feel so good. So i started telling people that I need to go to the bathroom. Everyone suggesting that I just hop in the bushes, behind the school etc. So I had to share that I just didn't have to go THAT TYPE of bathroom. I decided I'd slow down the energizer bunny attitude and keep it cool and calm. Ended up getting passed by other runners and slowly dropping to the back of the group.

I knew I couldnt last. I started forming other ideas in my head of where I could go. Of what I should do. We were about 1km from the store and it was just killing. I would try to run faster but then I felt it was going to slip out more. So I tried to run slower but then ahhhhh it would take forever to get back to the store so instead I thought okay I'll cut through the bushes and parking lot rather then the streets and just go at the store. As I started to pick up the pace, the feeling of awefulness picked up. I thought scratch that. I won't be able to make it there I will just run to the bushes and get my business done there. Act like an animal. Be environmentally friendly. Save the electricity, save water, use my "produce" as fertilizer. I'm about 500m from the field and BAM! The heat wave came on, the stomach turned, the muscles loosened and the poop flowed.

The most awful feeling poured through my underwear, down my legs. And I just cried. So now I panicked. I have shat myself silly. I can't go back to the store, I can't hop on the bus..........I had to WALK home. After walking up hill about 30 minutes, through cold freezing snow. The poop clumping on my legs, the wind blowing the smell, and every time a car passed I found myself turning and making my behind face the opposite way. My face red from embarrassment, my eyes filled with tears I just was LOST :S. I ended up getting home and thought to myself pooing is one thing yet hmmm what else could make this adventure much more difficult. I sadly forgot my keys, NO ONE HOME!!!!!! I needed inside. I had to get clean. It was freezing now, everything frozen and everything smelling. My only option to climb through the bathroom window. I had to prop myself up, swing my poopey legs around and get inside. Some of the smell now placed on the snow, outside the window ledge, some on the window sill. I got in the bathroom, ripped off my pants and climbed in the shower.

As I started to wash the stuff in the shower with me I realized I haven't told the running room I didn't come home. I had 3 missed calls as people suggest that I am missing, and the fear of being abducted on the run. I had to call and explain the situation. All in all I said, MY WORST FEAR CAME TRUE WHILE RUNNING. Instantly they knew that I had pooped my pants. Woah a very embarrassing introduction but a hilarious running adventure. Hope everyone else gets a kick out of this. Just remember your not truly a runner until you poop your pants.....